


The Wonder of Earth

by SaitamaRequiem



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26965039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaitamaRequiem/pseuds/SaitamaRequiem
Summary: Zim has existed on this filthy planet for possibly too long, that thought alone makes him tremble and his lekku drop. There is no reason for Zim to stay on this planet, other than his filthy stinky human rival.Many times has Zim allowed its rotation to continue, the inhabitants to live. Razing it’s citizens to the ground instead of making them slaves makes more sense, right? All hail the MIGHTY TALLEST IN THEIR NAME.An adventure through space and people as Dib and Zim work out what it means to exist and find purpose in life. I don’t know where they are going to go but... let’s find out!
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

In a lonely galaxy on a single planet named _Earth_ sat a single small irken curled up over another relatively small object. His muttering incomprehensible to practically any other creature who may hear it, coming in clicks and chatters that echoed off of the large metallic walls of the base as he worked on the little robot. 

The large screen from the computer reflected light onto the pair the information rolled across in sharp lines and curves reflecting over the irken, a sickly green glow seeming to emanate from his presence. 

**“How it is even possible you infused PIZZA into your energy capacitor is beyond THE MIGHTY ZIMS mind, Gir.”** Zim clicked and hissed out, stopping to pose dramatically, irate enough to hiss down at the little robot once again for placing more cheese in his metallic body.

This happens so often with different nutritional items that Zim has to do check ups on his system to make sure Gir is fully functional at all times, and not indeed stuffed with sticky waffles.

**_‘As functional as Gir can be.’_ **Zim thinks with a small squint, thinking about the many odd inexplicable things that he does. 

The silence continued as Zim worked, tongue sticking out here and there as the mind numbing motions keeps him occupied. Being a skilled engineer from Irk he was done in no time, double checking before turning the little robot on and readying for the onslaught of randomness that verbally came from Gir.

**“Computer. Engage the subject!”** Commanded Zim with a flourish on his gloved claws raised high and menacing.

“Hiiiiiii Master!!!” Gir called in English, waving up to his master, as cute as he could possibly be with his tongue sticking out and arms raised as if to be picked up.

“What did Zim tell you.” Standing with his arms crossed, one red eye quirked at the robot in an unending desire to have him understand reasoning, or at least comprehend his anger. This is the third time this week and Zim wanted to touch no more cheese. 

Gir just sat with a blank look, arms crossed cutely and stared at Zim. He was his master, he would not fall to the whim of his robot!

Zim stared at the robot, patience wearing thin. No emotion crossed his face for a few minutes before sighing, silently picking up the tiny robot and walking to the elevator leading up to the upper levels. 

“MastERrrrrr you wanna WATCH THE MONKey?” 

Eye twitching and holding his breath in, choosing to ignore the little robot regardless of his incoming tantrum. Zim could not believe it! The horrible, terrible noises that came out of Gir... if only he would apply it to the mission, Zim thought irritably, feet tapping. 

Once the elevator stopped at floor level Zim practically let go of the little robot that was screaming, running for the tv room to start the Monkey show. 

Scowling at the behavior but choosing to take the absence as a sign of peace, Zim left the room almost savagely with his teeth bared and lekku rigidly flat against his skull, stomping into the kitchen and sat down with what the humans call, the “hot chocolate” beverage.

Zim had initially picked up the beverage in the market not too far away, the human had been particularly... convincing. Scans suggested it would be suitable to consume, only the fact it was tasty was the only reason Zim had not banished it from Earth.   
  
  


Water was an inconvenience to Zim’s chocolate beverage, so he used heated almond milk instead. The humans had come up with a liquid beverage enough he could digest properly, or use as an experimental substitute for water.   
  


Dib-smelly had tried it once in Skool, ripped it out of Zims hands and took a big gulp, all while screaming that the beverage was his newest scheme before proceeding to spit it out saying he was going to die from the poison.

Ugh, how this human could ever stop Zim. 

Zim had been very unamused that the humans _germs_ were rubbed all over the cup, but it did give him the idea to create a large enough cup to pour boiling poison over the city out of spite.

Sipping on the beverage aggressively, Zim thought about what his magnificent tallests could be up to now. Probably eating the most delicious of confections and taking in the glory! Oh, the glory of his tallest. 

Staring at the wall of his kitchen for a while, Zim eventually had enough of the noises emanating from the other room, decided to go outside instead of listening to the nonsense on the tv.

  
One as mighty as Zim needs breaks from the blasted Monkey show drivel. He really has to figure out what to do with the issue of Gir and the show. Oh well, Zim will deal with it later. 

Zim clicked a few times in an afterthought as he walked out, a single claw holding the front door open enough to make sure Gir heard him before he left face pulled taught and stressed, **“Zim will be out Gir! Just… stay.”**

Nothing was heard when he walked away so Zim assumed his minion was staying masterfully focused.

Leaving the base and beginning his trek to the park, Zim watched all the family units he had observed over the years. Some had grown larger, _filthier,_ as he watched recognizing a few of the _filthy HUMANS_ that had stayed in the area _._

Zim himself had never grown or changed, something he never took much thought into. Just another reason the irken race was superior.

Zim cackled to himself, hand over his mouth to cover his sharp grin. Some of the humans near him were giving him suspicious looks for his laughing. Let them think, Zim thought viciously marching away.

Though he had lived among the humans for the past 8 or so years, it had only solidified Zims thoughts of the human race as nothing more than stinky vermin. They polluted the towns and cities with toxic air and primitive designs of technology, which would ultimately lead to the end of the world. 

An evil smile graced Zims face at the thought of his mission, humans didn’t even _need_ an invader to take themselves out, ultimately it would be their own demise. 

Gracing the bench with his most marvelous irken presence, zim pulled a bag out of his PAK. Often enough, the creatures in the area had come to Zim out of curiosity and it had terrified him.

Coming here throughout the years he had seen the filth-children feeding the animals seeds and snacks, so he figured he may see why they would feed such creatures their resources. 

Surprisingly, he enjoyed the Racoonies the most with their mini hands and claws. Though he would never admit they remind him of Gir. 

Slightly.

Much better company than the filth that existed with them on the planet. Maybe he could make radioactive Racoonie-slaves and conquer earth? Maybe the Tallest would want one?

Definitely. The Dib-Thing would certainly hate that.

Humming and throwing various foods to the ground and watching as more of the grey creatures savagely grab for the foods and stuff themselves. Yes, feed and grow stronger! Soon, you’ll be under the rule of ZIM your evil irken overlord he nodded determinedly at that thought.   
  


He had brought some seeds for the tiny flying creatures, but since it was later than he anticipated he guessed their sleep-cycle had been initiated.

Going back to contemplation while absent-mindedly feeding the mammals as they made grabby hands, Zim thought about how to annoy the Dib-thing next, oh how he would drag the human and insult him. Always searching for a way to overthrow his greatest nemesis. 

The Dib-thing had grown over the years, reaching heights that would even make the Tallest themselves nervous for their positions at 6’4. It had made him nervous senior year when he had grown tall and lanky, somewhat filling out before the end of Hi-Skool. He got over it once the Dib-thing had acted the same as it was just the Dib... right?

It made Zim jealous that such an inferior creature would grow so tall, leaving Zim at practically the same heights as before, even calculated into human terms was very small standing at 4’6. Smallest of that whole class. 

Zim is magnificent, so… nothing to worry about. 

The longer Zim sat on the bench, practically surrounded by the inferior earth mammals, he plotted. No, he was not going to use the racoonies on his Dib. He had something much, much better planned in mind. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

A fog had rolled through the city. Large, thick and muggy, kind of weather that dulled the senses, the type of weather to be in if you did not want to be seen at all. Standing in the streets were two lone figures, the perfect picture of a standstill if by the rigid postures their body language was providing.

In a flash sharp claws sailed through the small space between Zim and Dib, cutting through the fabric of an old blue shirt that was recognizable and pale flesh splitting open, the tangy red substance splattering on his front causing Zim to flinch back and hiss, baring his teeth threateningly and twisting slightly away to face Dib fully.

“You think you can defeat me, the MIIIIGHTY ZIM, Dib-monkey?” Zim yells, hands fisted in the air dramatically driven by anger at the situation, in which Dib is now meeting him for nearly every blow.

Dibs face flashed in his vision in what seemed to be a surprise burst of speed. Enraged, tired, and many other emotions Zim was not sure of and what they meant flashed on the humans face, amber eyes so expressive and wide. A large hand grabs Zims shoulder taking advantage of his momentary pause.

The hand places immense pressure giving Zim no other choice than to fall, twisting himself in an attempt to gain balance before falling directly onto his face, his teeth snapping together with a pained grunt as he hits the ground. 

Fortunately, this means that Dibs front had landed right on Zims back, crushing the small alien under his weight but also jamming his new open wound on the metal PAK.

“Oof!” Zim feels the breath push itself out of himself and the human, limbs trembling as he pushed to take advantage of the moment with his superior irken skills, commanding his PAK legs under his might to lift the weight of the human up and off of his body.

Almost like one of those terrible action movies Gir watches, Zim watched the Dib almost spring away from his body in slow motion from his sight of vision, landing further than the fog would allow. 

Using his legs Zim crawled up the building silently, metal limbs barely making a noise against the bricks. Hoping to not alert he human, he used his lekku to feel where the human is hoping to get the advantage. Using his PAK legs, Zim jumps in the air to slam down onto Dib, digging all four of his legs into Dibs limbs with a satisfactory hiss and click when he struggles under him with a shout. 

“You won't get away with this, _Zim._ ” Dib growls baring his teeth in his anger, old black trench coat torn and stained, flaring around his body framing him almost dramatically as he was pressed hard against the ground unmercifully. 

Pressing the legs into each one of Dibs limbs, enough to draw a trickle of blood out from each puncture if the red lines was any indication. 

Zim wanted the Dib to stare at him, feel the hope, light, whatever keeps him going, watch it fade from this strange human’s eyes. If Zim was not allowed to follow through with his Tallests mission, he could at least go out an invader with one final act.

Dib.

The only one who could keep up to Zim, who has bested him step by step. Somehow it leaves an almost melancholy feeling...

“HAHAHA _HAHAHA_!!! Dib you are too late to stop the mighty ZIIIIIIII _IIIIIIIM._ Finally my acid rain will REIGN ITS _DOOOOOM ON THIS CITY_!!!!!” Cried Zim arms raised maniacally, an crazed laugh bubbling from the deepest part of the irkens squeedilyspooch. 

Pressing a button on his wrist, Zim called the large machine above ground. The ground trembled, Dib stumbling backwards catching himself in time only to look up to see the dirt and concrete crack, imploding into itself revealing a large circular metal ball on four legs glowing a menacing toxic green. He snarled down at Dib, a glazed look that made him seem more psychotic than usual presented itself.

Dib was not going to get out of this one, a grim smile now plastered all over his face. 

Because Zim wasn’t planning on it either.

* * *

His Tallests would be so proud, astonished, so amazed by Zims genius! He could only imagine the snacks he would receive. No, even better. The destruction of those horrid bees that had destroyed his beloved voot cruiser. 

Zim hummed and whistled his way through the next machine he was making. A large monkey robot thing that would freak out and attack anything it came across. Truly ingenious! Nothing bad could possibly happen, right? Its metal arms capable of ripping a car in half and the size of a double manned fleekmerp. 

**“Computer! I demand that you call the tallest to inform them of my ingeeeeeenious plans!”** Zim demanded. Standing in attention in front of the large screen, saluting to properly address his superiors!

“Ughhhh… Do I have to?” The machine complained, like it had no business doing. 

**“I command you!”** Zim snapped quickly.

“...” 

A buzzing noise emanated in the immediate area around Zim, signifying that the computer had indeed followed his demand in the end. 

“It wouldn’t kill you to say please..” The computer grumbled, clearly not pleased at being demanded to open the line. 

A noise popped through which sounded like his tallest Red and Purple, but it was muffled…? Maybe something is wrong with the transmitter. It could have been damage in the accident with Gir a couple days ago.

Staying silent in a salute to be respectful, Zim had his lekku forward to try and catch any possible attempts to communicate from his tallest. It was fuzzy, but fortunately he could hear faint conversation coming through in short bursts before a clear line was established.

**“** ** _My tallest! We are receiving a call from planet Earth.”_ **Hissed an irken somewhere in the video sounding predictably scared, well he is mighty! Tremble beneath Zims mighty power!

Was that… panicked screaming Zim heard? From his Tallest? Well… Of course! Zim knew he was scary but with this new power who knows what he could achieve? Earth conquest would’ve just the first of many more to fall under the empires rule.

If Zim could be any more attentive he would be. Ruby eyes staring endlessly to the shadowed video, only revealing small portion of what would have been on the screen. He could hear snippets of conversation and did not seem like they could see or hear him.

**“Hellooo? My Tallests it is I, Zim!”** He clicked questioningly. 

**“No good irken that one. I don’t even want to talk to him. It displeases me and my donuts! Do not let the transmission through!** **”** Hissed Purple, spite in his voice as he curled over his donuts petting the box as if to comfort them. 

What... does this mean? Surely they are not talking about Zim? Of course not! They haven’t seen his glorious face yet.

**“We kept him as entertainment, remember? His job is a joke! At this rate he would never even take over the planet. And… he's defective. He’s made… eugh… attachments to the big headed thing there. He is no invader and no irken as such belongs in the armada. The Resisty are controlling smaller sectors with their misplaced army and we need to focus on that for how many moons more we should address that first and foremost for the sake of the empire.”** Hissed Red thoughtfully, a claw posed to his chin in a almost thoughtful manner, nothing close to anything positive in his voice. **“We do use him for entertainment right? Place him on.”**

**”My Tallest... the transmission has been on for minutes. Zim has heard the whole conversation I believe.”** Whimpered a smaller, purple eyes wide open in pure fear for his life.

As the conversation happened, tiny Zim had pink tears welling up in the invaders eyes at such comments about him. Lekku dropped so low, a trickle of betrayal rushing through his lifeblood. His goal was to serve the armada, his life was meant to serve the irken empire. 

...Yet here he was being treated like a joke. By his most respected Tallests. 

Oh irk help Zim. 

**“My… tallests?”** Zim whimpered, ashamed it ever came out like that. 

Red turned to face the screen directly now and looked into Zim eyes, the red swirling with an emotion Zim had been too familiar with in the past. Had it really been that obvious, had Zim miscalculated how much his Tallests viewed him?

In the end, it was Purple who placed the last word not having felt this awkward since being a smeet in training. Turning methodically towards the screen and making eye contact with Zim to ensure he heard the next words that came from his mouth were heard by the hard headed irken.

**“Oh Zim. You heard that?”** Snickered Purple menacingly, venom dripping in his voice taking great pleasure in what was about to happen. **“S** **aves us time trying to explain how much we despise you and everything you have ever done to the empire. Which exactly means nothing, if not worse! You destroyed plans for Impending Doom, and killed two of Irks finest Tallest. We are in a WAR, and we need as many good drones as we need. Goodbye Zim. Do not try to contact us again. Or else.”**

The screen went blank. Dark. Black. And just like that, invader Zim had been dismissed from his entire race. No more would he be able to rely on his wonderful, woeful, spiteful leaders.

**“Zim is… no good? Defective?”** Zim cried out, lunging his whole body at the controls for the transmission and clawing at it almost frantically leaving little dents in the metal. A single voice echoing in the empty chamber only signifying the end of the transmission more. 

He stood there for a long time, blanking on what had really happened. The PAK memories were nearly perfect, detailing every second of the call, making him aware it was not a random hallucination. Anything to get out of this terrible reality, If his tallests did not need him then what use was he… 

What was his purpose? To be a miserable earth drone?

“Masta what’s wrong?? I heard a BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS GOING ON down here??” Gir popped out of the vents and tumbled down beside Zim, not afraid in the slightest as the boot lunged out to try and kick him.   
  


“GIR! REPORT FOR DUTY!” Zim glared at his... minion. Who knows what the tallest have done to his so far faithful accomplice in crime? Doesn’t matter anymore, Zim supposed as the lights in Gir changed from cyan to blood red.   
  


“YES SIR.”

  
  


* * *

“Your time is up, _Dib!_ ” Zim screeched, holding his hands high and flashing his claws in an Irken warning, and slammed the button he had placed on his wrist to start the machine with a flourish. A great whirring began as the street began to almost crumble beneath them causing everything to almost stumble in place. Zim had a platform that just rose him higher above to prevent it, making him much higher than Dib and much more steady than his nemesis. The large circular machine started whirring loudly, a toxic green emanated from inside of it, causing the Dibs face to glow sickly in the light his pale pallor almost reflecting it. 

“Zim no! You’ll destroy the whole city and areas around here! The damage it’ll cause!” Watching the Dib flail around trying to gain his balance and jumping from the platforms the cement had created from the machine appearance, trying to reach Zim to stop him.

“Yes,” Zim cackled, slightly hysterical. “Beg for mercy. You will gain nothing from me you smelly _hyooMAN!_ ” 

“What are you gaining from this? You’ll destroy your house. Your alien base! The whole area! You’re also nowhere near anywhere to hide from the acid rain when it comes down. I don’t think you planned this through enough, Zim! You never seem to.” Dib sneered, he was trying to make him see some reason but couldn’t hold back the last comment. Zim was indeed a creature who loved his own belongings, but the last comment had only furthered his mania ruled rage. 

Zim did not respond, ultimately only swinging away using his PAK legs on the brick to the further building so Dib could not reach him. He was making progress through he mess of the road he had created. 

“I will stop you Zim! No matter what.” Dib yelled, knowing it should elict a response from the ever eager alien. 

Zim did not respond, only allowing the machine to glow menacingly over them in a strange silence. It seemed the Dib had underestimated him, for the last time.   
  


Zim stared down at his nemesis, eyes wide and unseeing. 

This was it. He would serve his Tallests in one last regard. The mission had been his all along, and he would follow through with it. No matter what the cost at this point. He would see no more Gir, never to curl up on his couch with piles of blankets and watch movies in comfort, no more of his fellow empire to rely on, no more greasy children to mingle with at the education centre, no more battles with... Dib. Almost made him want to stop the explosion, if not to continue this charade. 

**_‘An irken can only live for the empire.’_ **

Zim saluted and closed his eyes for the last time, awaiting for the toxic green glow to overcome his senses and bleed into blac- 

_YOINK!!!!_

The Dib-thing had actually somehow climbed up onto the platform and grabbed Zim by his PAK and slung him over his shoulder like a weight, infuriating Zim to a level he had never reached before until gravity took them down quickly and hit the ground. Dib wheezed as Zim threw him off only to be picked up again unwillingly. 

“Unhand me you filth-filthy pig!!!” Zim growled and used his claws to scratch at the humans back, being jostled way too much to be comfortable.

This is what he was meant for, and Zim couldn’t even kill a single, puny human. 

His Tallests were right. He was defective. He couldn’t even serve the empire in the only way an irken could. Dedicating their life force into one last action for the empire. Right? 

_Error._

Blanking out into a despair, not realizing Dib had actually taken Zim to his household in his struggle to escape. The machine did not destroy the Dibs house. Sad. 

The _SLAM!!!_ Of the door startled Zim out of his self-pity enough to renew his struggle, a burst of energy coming from nowhere. 

“You _FFFFF_ ** _FFFILTHY_ ** _hyooo_ ** _OOOMAN!!”_ **

“I just saved your life! You should be more grateful considering it’s your OWN invention that just tried to kill you.” Snapped Dib irritably as he was rooting through the cupboards in the kitchen. “Safe button, safe button, _shield button_ …” 

“Dib-thing what are you doing?” Zim could feel his teeth grinding in his skull, a throbbing appearing in the front of his head. “You are interrupting Zims… thoughts.” 

“Oh yeah? What else do you have to focus on other than stopping your stupid machine? Got something better to do?” Snarked Dib as he pulled out boxes of cereal from the pantry. 

“ _SILENCE HUMAN!! Do you know what you have taken from almighty ZIIIMM???”_ Zim snarled and hissed like an angry cat, nearly animalistic his eyes flashing dangerously.

“Yeah sure, sure, just… stay there and don’t move. I’m watching you, space boy.” Dib squinted at him suspiciously for a moment before moving to the next room. The Dib can do what he wants, Zim just wanted to wallow in his emotional pain.

“Ziiiii _iiiim_ does not follow the Dibs commands.” Zim sat down on couch, the slight sounds of rustling from the other room trickling in, and the tears came back full force now that his plan failed. His last plan for the Tallests, ruined. At least he could sit here and hope the explosion took him out.

  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

The Membrane household was in a small area of the town called Nova Scotia, people would often choose to raise their children or live out the rest of their lives. Sitting on one side of the road was a house with a tidy yard, limited flora framing the house as it slightly towered over the neighboring houses, its purple paint reflecting back the small amount of light the evening provided. It was never meant to be loud or relatively noisy, the inhabitants often more than not choosing to be out of the house or doing their own experiments, supernatural hobbies, or just playing games. 

A thick fog had settled over the town creating an eerie ambience that settled over its citizens, though unlikely any would take notice to the atmospheric beings that had created it and meandered around, taking an almost green glow as if to remind the one person aware of the situation that was at hand. Had the citizens been smart enough to comprehend what had happened, they would have left the boundaries of the city as soon as they heard the alien machine erupt from the ground only moments earlier rocking the foundations of the city itself.

_‘But of course, there always had to be a simple explanation apparently not involving aliens.’_ Dib thought bitterly. 

There couldn’t possibly be a large alien machine threatening to murder thousands of people and he could very well be the only one to stop it from happening. Not like he was saving anybody! _Again._

That being said, it unfortunately left Dib alone to rip through the cupboards looking for an emergency button that was supposed to have been there while said green menace that caused this day somewhere moping. 

It was left in emergency “just incase the house blew up again”, the Florpus incident was chalked off as a very big earthquake that produced a gas causing worldwide hallucinations. Go figure, right? 

Where was that damn button?!

“Shield button! Where is the damn thing. I know Dad hid it around here...” Dib was muttering as he rustled through the packaged food items. How had he ended up in this situation?  
  


Well, it started when a certain green alien decided to take up the worst attitude in the entire universe, making him suspicious with a possible new scheme. He had eventually lured Dib out with threats of violence and insults into the streets, before releasing what seems to be his newest doom device. 

Dibs paranormal senses were tingling, he knew when to trust them and right now it said something was up. Call it a sixth sense if you would.   
  


Why would Zim just try to destroy the town, not to mention himself out of nowhere? His plots were seemingly more consistent, more driven, with definitely more flair. He would have taken out his own base with it so why...? Worldwide conquest was what he had been trying to accomplish for, not city wide. 

“Finally! I got something.” Dib announced as his current train of thought came to an end. Taking the item out, his face falling when he was what it actually was. A single note, placed on a small device that was smaller than the palm of his hand read, _‘the old button was taken out as scientifically we would never need it. Here is a portable shield in case. You never know!’_

Dib could almost scream at the irony! He grabbed at his hair and growled at the piece of paper before ripping it apart. The whole town was at stake and dad had decided now of all times to take the shield out? He needed to take the device to the machine but it was simply not possible to make it on time on foot. 

Going back to the front door about to run out in an effort to get there, he paused as a crazy idea popped into his head. He may not be able to reach the device.... but Zim should be able to.   
  


No! It was crazy... but then again it was the town at stake. His pride might burn a little at asking but it was worth a try.   
  


“ZIM,” Dib started with a firm voice, though still seemed to waver in uncertainty in his new quest. “I need you to work with me to save the town.”

Dib started again hesitant, not convinced this would work and just wasting his precious time. The alien was slouched over himself facing away from Dib so he couldn’t make out his expression. “I know you made the machine and everything but I could really use your... help.” He forced out “It’ll blow the whole town up!”   
  


“Zim no longer cares about the integrity of this town or its people, _Dib_.” Zim nearly spat out, finally turning to face him eyes narrowed in suspicion. That’s when he saw... bags? Under Zims eyes. Something wasn’t right, his paranormal investigator senses were tingling again.  
  


“No longer...? You know what, I’ll address that later. There is no time Zim! I will do whatever you want within reason, just place this around the machine. It’s our last hope of survival and you should make it on time.” Dib was sweating profusely, only moments left to convince said alien that made the machine to stop it. Oh, and live too. Hard work day, y’know? Oh yeah and promising an evil alien something in return.

Zim stared at him silently, one eye raised the other half mast in a look that said, _‘Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it. I DO NOT CARE.’_

“Fine. I’ll do it myself or die trying.” Dib stood up, sweaty and scared but knew he could not sit and wait for something to happen. 

If Zim would not help, then it was up to him by himself.

Once again. 

Wow, that hurts unnecessarily. Not the time to get caught up in family issues, he has a city to save! One last suspicious glance at Zim, Dib ran out the front door to find the streets a mess. The road he lived on was cracked and slightly raised, limiting his running. The closer he got, the more the streets had created hills and holes out of cement making it extremely difficult to make any headway. 

Oh god, he would definitely not make it. Pure dread like ice filed his body. Running fast as he could push his body, he was never more thankful than now for his long limbs that helped him scale the hills of broken concrete. 

He felt the flash of a presence behind him, before a familiar voice broke through his thoughts, oddly making him feel relief.

“Dib-thing,” spat an irritated Zim suddenly behind him on all four PAK legs acting like it isn’t a big deal they are about to die, “Give me that useless item. I will place it on the machine.” 

“W-what? How can I trust you to not let it blow us up?” Stuttered Dib. 

“You do not have that much time filthy earth monkey. Give me the device.” 

Having to give Zim the only hope for the city? Definitely a big no. But what other choke does Dib have. They are all doomed, doomed, doomed... a voice similar to Ms. bitters popped into his head. 

“Okay Zim... I’m trusting you with this.” Dib handed the device to Zim. Grabbing his wrist he looked into Zims red orbs. “We are talking after this. I need answers.” 

“Pfft. As if Zim owes you anything.” 

Watching Zim scale the building using bins PAK legs, Dib could feel nothing short of horror what he had done. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Fffffffilthy... _Stinky_... No good _human_!” Zim nearly threw the device in his hand on the ground to suffer its doom. Why would he even bother to help the Dib? He’s the enemy!

Zim should be hundreds of clicks away laughing in his face as he watches the Dibs destruction, possibly even making fun of his big head. Instead, here Zim is acting like a... Earthen mailman to deliver this shield to his magnificent creation. It would defeat its purpose. Zims purpose! Was it the Dibs plan to hope it would work out in the end? He could throw the device on the ground, destroy it and have all the disgusting humans dead...

Zim thinks they would deserve it. 

So why was he heading towards his own doom? Why was he helping the Dib. Why, why, why... so many questions and not enough answers. His PAK did not have an answer when he scrounged the database for information. 

_Information not found. Please report to the Control Brains._

Feh, what load of dookie that is.

Crawling to the end of a building Zim jumped horizontally from one wall to another, his squeedilyspooch dropping entirely with terror as a terrible tremble spread the two buildings further apart, making him drop in between them heading straight to concrete in what felt like slow motion. He hit the ground with a harsh thud, blood pooling around him before going black.   
  


_Reactivating....._

“Urgghh!!!” Grunted Zim as the shocks caused his body to flail uncontrollably off the ground, blood unfortunately flying everywhere off his spasming limbs, painting the walls and ground around him luminescent pink. “This is terrible. I should never have done this.”   
  


“Computer! How much time is remaining!?” Zim yelled into the air awaiting the transmitter to respond from his computer.  
  


“CALCULATING...!!!! 45 SECONDS! MAYBE!” Came a voice from his PAK.

”What do you _mean_ maybe?” Hissed Zim getting up with new vigor, superior irken body screaming at him to stop after falling 10 stories down, or very well could be just pure rage before scaling the building wall closest to him with his PAK legs, the noise screeching terribly against brick and concrete with every new jump made.   
  


“I hope this ‘favor’ is worth it.” Mumbled Zim as he approached the machine cautiously, seconds to spare. His whole body ached, muscles crying out in pain, regardless he pushed to move, not very smart especially right after such a shock to his system. It was often suggested to take a few moments after to reset systems entirely.  
  


“Ehhhh You will never beat Zim. ZIM WILL ALWAYS WIN!!” Screeched Zim as he jumped off the top of the last building in a huge leap. His PAK legs extended fully to absorb the impact as he hit the machine, before quickly adjusting into a full speed run. 

Latching into the side of the machine quickly, Zim pressed the button and jumped back just in time as a blue sphere erupted around the machine.   
  


“Five seconds remaining master. I think.” The computer said helpfully.   
  


Zim paused for a second. Then, “What do you mean you th-“ 

The loudest noise Zim has ever felt in his entire life blasted his lekku right before him, the green glow erupting into a glowing bright mass inside the sphere. The heat was unbearable, burning part of his invaders uniform and causing his PAK to heat up to unimaginable temperatures.   
  


**”Blasted machine! I must escape quickly!”** Zim screeched writhing in pain as he tried to escape the burning all around him. It seemed like he was the only living thing in the area, most of the creatures seemed to have abandoned the area moments earlier sensing the danger.   
  


Zim screamed and struggled, something snapping inside of him. He gathered energy to run for his life, but survival chances were extremely low. One of his arms would not respond, both his legs would not work, and three of his PAK legs were responding still but sparking ominously. 

_Ocular implants damaged. Please report to nearest facility to repair damages._

**“Zim... Zim does not want to die!”** He cried out to anyone who could hear him as he crawled through the rubble with one hand, the ground shaking and moving as claws scrabbling for any leverage as to not be crushed. He felt as frightened as a smeet. 

It was all black around Zim, the only senses he could feel was through his lekku and touch as everything seemed to diminish around him. He could feel himself moving further from the heat slowly, he could not register much of what was happening. It was not too long before his face hitting the ground, body trembling in exhaustion. Was that... Dib he sensed? 

_PAK main systems shutting down... please report to closest facility to repair damages._

”Zim! Zim! Are you out there?” A familiar voice, he couldn’t place it. Dib...? Had he really come to help him? Zim was sure he would have left him to die under some random building, a fate that would have benefitted his position as Earths savior, and as an outcast to the empire. 

Irk, at this point he could see the Tallests coming to congratulate the Dib for destroying what they could not. Why would anyone want Zim?


	5. Chapter 5

“Zim! Zim! Where are you?” Dib yelled into the destruction. He was kind of angry now that they had survived through the newest evil ploy, but at the same time Zim had not come back to gloat. The surge of energy that had come from the direction of the machine had been indescribably horrible and he was sure glad that he did not have to die in the blast. 

Crawling for easily another 10 minutes lifting various debries just hoping for a glimpse of green skin, he finally saw one of Zims metal PAK legs. “Zim...” Dib said softly as he picked up the detatched metal leg. 

“I have never seen his PAK damaged before like this,” Dib stated to himself twisting in circles in hopes to find Zim, “must be around here somewhere if this is here.” 

A gurgled cry that did not sound quite human made Dib whip around towards where the noise came from. It did not sound human... There Zim was! 

“Zim,” Dib pushed the rubble that had fallen on the irken off. “Are you even alive?” He poked his face once, then gently rolled Zim over to have a look at his face. It seems that he had fallen into unconsciousness, which seemed more odd than it should be as Dib racked his mind trying to remember a time that Zim had not been aware. He could not, and even remembered Zim saying irkens do not need sleep. Was he...? No, there was pulse, as alien as its odd thumping was. 

“Zim when you wake up you can’t kill me for this,” Dib hoisted Zim into his arms, heavier than expected and found himself saying, “I hope you’ll live.”

It took much longer than what Dib was comfortable with but he eventually made it to Zims base, it looked as he expected it to be. The yard and been uprooted and taken the gnomes with it, but the house itself had remained upright in the chaos around it. 

“Thank god for small mercies. Oh god, am I really going into an Alien base to help said Alien trying to invade Earth? I mean its not like he kept it on the downlow.” Dib was so anxious he felt himself shaking again. This was a whole new ground for him that he did not know how to navigate. 

Using his foot he knocked on the door as waited only for a few seconds until a familair robot opened it. “Hiiiiiiiya masta! Did you bring tacos?” Gir asked straight off the bat, no hesitation even after seeing his master harmed had not stopped the little robot. 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh... Sure Gir! I have tacos for you if you can bring to Zims lab!” Trying to persuade the robot was pretty easy if you knew his weak spots. Dib had done it multiple times over the years only to encounter the same issue as Zim did. Gir had the attention span of a three year old, never listening, food driven, as well as prone to tantrums.

_“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!”_ A booming deep voice descended from the ceiling, lights flashing everywhere and cables flashing to whip him out of the house. 

“Wait! I have Zim, your master?” Dib tried to compromise knowing the computer had some thought process on its own. “He’s really hurt... I’m not gonna sit there and let him die.” It definitely came out more confident than he felt by he had to try.

” _SYSTEMS PROTOCOL CANCELLED,”_ Is all the computer said.

“You must have a med bay right?” 

“.........”

A seam appeared on the wall and unlatched, showing a small elevator just big enough for the both of them. Dib rushed and hunched himself in not quite trusting the computer, but what choice did he have now? 

Plenty of choice, actually. He had a feeling he may have just dug his own grave.

” _Medical bay protocol activated,”_ announced the computer and it... grunted in effort? 

Dib stumbled as the elevator went down down, down... before looking at Zim in his arms just to check on him, not out of concern of course, but he seemed to be breathing shallowly and in pain. At least he was alive. Almost in a daze he placed a hand to Zims head, stroking his hand across and smoothing out the now slightly scrunched up lekku. “Come on, come on, come on.” He chanted.

Finally the elevator opened into a bleak room with a screen, table, and wires draped from the ceiling. “Place him on the table. I will assess the damage from here.” 

Dib placed Zim on the table as to not disturb any wounds more and stepped back to let the computer do its job. Wires dropped from the endless blackness of the ceiling and picked Zim up, suspending him in the air. One lone chord slithered to his back, attaching itself to the PAK and taking it off. 

“Wait! What is that?” Dib asked.

”I need to assess the PAK to see if it can function. Bodily harm is easy to recover from, the PAK is more than just a tool.” Is all the disembodied voice said, echoing in the empty space. 

The screen turned on in a flash, information rolling across it so fast even if Dib knew how to read it he couldn’t possibly know where to start. Loops and edges so sharp curled across in an ancient language, flitting into a jumbled mess no human would make out.

“Is he going to be okay?” Dib asked.

”Aren’t you that Dib kid my master always complains about? You are awfully invested in his recovery.” The computer stated more than asked. “He will be fine. A few limiters in his PAK broke, but other than that he should be fine.” 

“Why are you giving me this information? If you know who I am than you should know I am his enemy and I fully plan on stopping him.” Dib started, staring at Zim now. Hanging lifelessly on wires did not seem right, oddly. He would have done anything when he was 12 to see this. 

“You returned my master in relatively functioning condition. While he is going to live, he will have to replace a few parts to continue to function as an irken invader,” Dib opened his mouth only to close it as it continued, its voice halting any further remarks from the human. “Irken Zims invader initiative was a failure. It was revealed days ago that this mission they sent us here for was a trick. The massive was never meant to ever come to Earth.”

Dib had to sit down, he felt dizzy. He was beginning to sweat again. A lie? 

“Why would they send him here of all places? Why Earth?” 

It was quiet while the computer was working on Zim, giving Dib more of a chance to absorb the information. What the hell was going on? 

Finally, the computer deemed him worthy enough of an answer.   
  


“The mission that the Tallests had given drone Zim was to die in the vastness of space. He was never initally meant to survive, at all. It was all by acident he managed to find your planet out here. It is not on any radar in the universe, by all means this planet is considered primitive.” 

“Does... Zim know this?” He was almost hesitant to ask. “Is that why he tried to actually almost destroy the town?”

”Yes. I knew long ago that this mission was a fake. Master is just _really_ bad at reading between the lines.” 

“Yeah, I guessed that.” Dib snorted, thinking of the implication behind the words and what it meant between them. 

He watched the wires worked in silence, silently contemplative for once. Does that mean he would no longer have to hunt Zim? He had spent so long fighting to save the world that he had not even thought of the possibility it could be fake. Zim was definitely a threat himself, but the actual mission? How long would this would have coninued for...

“Master is now in fuctioning condition. _Re_ _booting..._ ” A shock flowed through the main cable hanging from Zim into him, causing his body to spasm once more uncontrollably. 

“GAH!!!” Cried Zim, body trembling with the electricity being poured into it. The cable finally let him go only to... fall flat onto his face. 

“I AM ZIM!” He cried loudly before jumping up with more vigor than he should deserve. Claws raised menacingly once more in an iconic evil position. 

“So... I guess you’re okay?” Dib hesistated slightly before asking.

”AAAGGHHH,” Choked Zim before straightening himself. “What are _youuuuuu_ doing in my secret base?” Zim pointed at him accusingly. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Uhhhh...” Dib was shocked speechless at how quick Zim had recovered. Irken technology really was that much more advanced than human technology, not that he would tell Zim that. “I took you here on the off chance you had alien medicine. It’s not like I could bring you to a hospital, being an alien and all.”

He hopes Zim doesn’t read in between the lines. If he brought him to a hospital, he couldn’t be a true detective could he? He had to find out what caused Zim to act so, so different. at least that’s what he can keep telling himself.   
  


Zim just stared at him, long and hard. “Well of course you couldn’t. I AM ZIM!”

Dib nearly slumped forward from his position and rubbed his hands over his face exasperated, feeling like at this point he could drag his eyelids off his face. “You nearly destroyed the city Zim. Again. I _should_ have left you there for that.”

”Eh? But I helped your feeble Earth in the end! I even put that thingy on my beautiful creation of DOOM!” Zim tilted his head in confusion, scowl on his face while his lekku half raised towards Dib accusingly. 

”Yeah, but thats not the point! It wouldn’t have had to happen in the first place if it wasn’t for you.” Dib honestly didn’t know why he bothered explaining, exhaustion setting in. Extending patience and understanding towards this specific alien that had been trying to kill him for years... Dib almost couldn’t help but feel sympathy. He was always much too sympathetic, his sister had said it once as an insult.

  
“Zim never makes a mistake. It was all part of the plan, of course.” Zim stood up proudly, arms crossed, antenna standing in attention and inclined slightly towards Dib.

“Yeah, yeah. Let me guess, you stole my baby blanket this time? My mini lochness figure? Stop sneaking into my house and stealing my shit.” Shoving his hands into his jacket pockets he walked up to the elevator. He didn’t really want to be here, and it wasn’t like he was going to get any sort of an apology from Zim.

”I-I didn’t steal anything this time. You lie!” He pointed at Dib accusingly. “Zim was merely...” he hesitated and that was all Dib needed. 

“Merely what,” Dib took the slight pause to interrupt, stopping and turning completely to face the other to try and convey how he felt at the moment. “Trying to kill me and everyone else you’ve known for at least the past few years?”

Had he not just not been told by the computer what happened days ago with his old cult leaders and abandonment, he might have been more angry. He never liked them anyway, their callous treatment of Zim in the small moments he had caught glimpses of them, so condescending and callous to all of their people it made him sick. Nobody deserves treatment like that. 

Zim had remained quiet the whole time in which looked like he was a mix between irrated and... processing what Dib was saying? Odd. Usually it would start with yelling right about now or even fist fights, passing insults with dirty tricks.

They have grown up quite a bit and have slowed down over the past few years, but his words had never come so close as to be considered by Zim. Maybe something from the explosion cause a loose screw, the computer did say he was only at functioning level...

Did he dare try to get involved with this? He could mention he knew what had happened, but that was almost trying to get himself killed.

So Dib asked the question that set everything in motion. “Are you okay, Zim?”

It was out of his mouth before he could even think. “Usually your plans never come this close and I am... not meaning this as an insult before you interrupt me.” Zim definitely looked like he was just about to say something, grinding his sharp teeth in a surprising show of self restraint. “...but this time something felt wrong, Zim. Is everything okay?”

Dib can’t believe he actually asked the question. It felt like he was in a fever dream waiting to wake up. But he knew it wasn’t a dream, every other one ended up poorly with Zim in some kind of nightmare. 

He looked straight on at Zim taking in the information his body language might provide, hoping to see something, but not entirely sure what he was looking for. He had gotten pretty good at reading Zims body language over the years when he had to spy on him hours on end.

Zims eyes seemed to glisten, as if watching something far away at something. His lekku dropped back as if pinned by some invisible weight, draping down like linen before speaking, the absurdity of how soft his voice was penetrating the large room.

“You were always a worthy opponent Dib.” Started Zim. “I could always count on a worthy foe to be there, a being capable of going head to head to wth the incredible Zim. I have been given... _orders_ by the Tallests themselves that the mighty Zim is to be exiled from the empire.” He spit it out like a bad taste, like the vile, vile words they were. His face scrunched up, teeth bared at some invisible opponent. “My mission here on planet Earth was a fake. A scam.” 

“Why even bother telling me this? What does that even mean.” Dib didn’t want to start a fight by pointing out his computer had already informed him while being operated on, knowing Zim it had a feeling it would possibly set Zim off, not in the good way. “You could have disappeared, started somewhere new. Went somewhere else in the universe! You could do so many things, why do you need this empire to give it to you?”

Dib felt more than seen Zim as he lunged at him full force, the sudden change in mood startling him along with slamming him into the metal walls of the base. He could only try and gain his breath back as Zim held him there, PAK legs raising him higher in a menacing pose to strike. 

“You fail to understand the mighty irken race, Dib-thing.” Zim growled, his face nearly against Dibs, antenna pinned flat. Pushing Dib hard against the wall, not unlike a body slam, once more in warning Zim finally let him go, face unimpressionable. “Computer. Take the human outside. I wish to be alone to think for a while.”

Dib could only get out a “Hey-!” Before thick wires withdrew from the ceiling and threw him none too gently into the elevator and closed by itself. “Dumb Zim and his dumb leaders, who does he think he is?!” He growled into the open space pacing in circles out of anger.

“Please don’t think any less of master, he does not have the capacity to understand what has happened. Detectives are usually killed off in front of an entire emporium filled with irkens, this is the first time in known history a defective has been abandoned. They usually are a risk to lave them by themselves.” Explained the computer, the nonchalance at such a horrible thing causing him to grimace.

”Why are you telling me this exactly? Shouldn’t you be on your masters side?” 

“I am. I am an AI that is sentient, you know.” Whoah did Dib not wanna open that can of worms up. “Master is very... intelligent. He always is at mass potential when he focuses on engineering or creating. Recently, his plans were less invading the world. I would not say he has gone... _native_. But he has formed an attachment here on this planet as much as he would deny it.”

”Okay...” Weird but Dib could work with this somewhat. “What does this still have to do with me.” 

“Our chances of discovery are higher every year... As an entity who has been sent to obey ZIM by the mighty irken empire, I also can make decisions and actions based on our chances of success. I will allow you access to the base to entertain my master, as long as you do not try and alert Earth authorities of our existence.”

”Hm... Isn’t that plan flawed though? You’re still technically disobeying your master...” Dib thought irken tech was amazing. Truly. But what kind of flaw was this?

”Do as you like. It was only an offer on my masters behalf.” 

Dib was skeptical. Why would a computer have enough sentience to try and help its master by inviting the enemy? He could just wait for Zim to hatch another plan and see what happens. If Zim has truly stopped, he may consider the AI’s offer for an agreement. They had fought for so long it was like a lifestyle, he had no friends and Zim certainly did not. A plus would be he had alien friends? Even if they could sit down in a room what would they even talk about? Surely Zim would not listen to him go on about Earth phenomenon and cryptically alike as cool as it was. The people living here didn’t even like to hear it.

Why was he even thinking about it, it wasn’t like he was going to extend a peace offering to Zim, right? He _could_ technically befriend Zim as Earth’s savior and teach him why Earth was not so bad after all. Sure some of the the people were dumb, you would have to be to live in a city consistently terrorized by one and ignore it to be. 

Pfft. Not like Dib was gonna do that. The idea didn’t sounds good at all. Right?


	7. Chapter 7

**“Computer monitor the Dib as he walks out of the base. Make sure he doesn’t try to take anything or plant devices.”** Zim asked more than demanded, almost seemingly absentminded which was rare in itself. Zim had found all sorts of gadgets around for spying from Dib. How it got into some of these places, he will never know. “ **As well as run some diagnostic scans on Zims PAK, I wish to see for myself the damage the explosion has caused.”**

**”Would it kill you to say please?”** A singular chord attached itself to the PAK. **“RUNNING DIAGNOSTICS - PLEASE WAIT.”**

**“Zim is your master. YOU WILL OBEYYYY meeee!!”**

In front of Zim a screen popped up with multiple different errors in irken, more than what all the multiple screens embedded into the wall could hold, processing information from the PAK while playing it for the irken to see. **“40 shmillion errors detected. Please report to the nearest repair facility.”  
  
**

”Hah! Not like Zim can do that anymore, it looks relatively normal because I am AMAZING.” Then Zim noticed some new lines of code had joined theming line of pop up of errors.

“Hm? What is this...” Zim squinted at the screen, never seeing these error codes before. 

_Error - Emotional inhibitors damaged_

_Error - ****** capacitor damaged_

_Error - ******** dampener damaged_

_Error - Universal Translator has been damaged_

_Error - Physical **** ********_

  
What would that possibly mean? Every other error code was not encrypted. “Hmm...” Zim hummed in thought. He tried tapping away on the holographic keyboard to try and find a way to reveal the information, Zim could not crack it at the moment. There was too much going on to focus which usually was not a problem.  
  


These were new to him, definitely damaged in the blast that he had so generously helped stop, even if it was his own creation that had caused it. Most of the parts he needed were only available on irken battle ready stations which he doesn’t have access to right now Zim assumed after the discussion with his... with the Tallest, and the nearest one was at least 6 months away in the voot itself. He could fix the translator easy, he had all the parts for that. The others though... his head tilted in thought, eyelids half mast over ruby eyes. That was the tricky part. He would have to go under to fix it and find out what some of these censored issues were but he would need another irken, he was not very fond of any irken going in to his magnificent PAK.  
  


“Eh whatever! Zim doesn’t need anybody. I can fix it all myself.” He felt a slight drop in his squeedilyspooch, that was strange. Zim has never felt that way before now, his arms coming to wrap themselves over his front to quell the queasiness growing inside. The sinking feeling just seemed to intensify at the action, Zim gritted his teeth and growled in the air. 

“Gir! Report to the recovery deck.” Zim felt... different. Even if it was just the tiny SIR unit it was better than the ever encumbering silence the chamber of screens made together.

Zim had no empire, no Tallests, and now even the Dib thing was treating him differently because he helped him and this disgusting town this once. “It wasn’t even like it was the first time either.” Zim snarled. 

“Hiyah Masta!!! Why are you so sad? Angry?” Gir asked as he slipped through a vent, his voice cutting through Zims thoughts like a knife through a spleenk and landing unceremoniously on the floor before scrambling to get up, waddling towards him like he didn’t just fall 3 stories apparently as one did. “Mary was sad too... Can we go make waffles? And bring them to him?! KACHEWWWW!” Gir pretended to explode at the end forgetting the original point but it still gave his master an idea. 

“Hmmm...” It didn’t strike Zim as a _bad_ idea, which was pretty odd to hear from the robot. He would _obviously_ have to assist Gir to make sure that they were edible as he was an amazing human cook. Would the Dib even want waffles? He _did_ seem to like the failed experiment Clembranes pudding. “No, Gir. If we are to do this, we have to figure out what nutrition a human can actually intake. I cannot have my nemesis... expiring before I’m done with him. He doesn’t have superior organs to filter all the toxic items you put in your food.” Zim nodded. “A very _GOOD_ idea by Zim.”

Gir made a saddened noise but he wasn’t screaming at least. “Awhhh...”

He turned the systems and screens in front of him off with a quick signal to the transmitter from his PAK, connected to the whole base itself incase he was in need of a remote activation. The screen flashed brightly signaling the cut off of power before blanking out into darkness. As Zim turned to leave he saw in one of the many large screens his very own reflection, feeling so disconnected from his usual self it felt like the first time Zim may have seen himself. His irken uniform was no more than scraps and pieces of burnt cloth and rubber that allowed the green of his skin to show through. His face had acquired at some point dark circles under his eyes indicating his flesh vessel had taken the brunt of the explosion even with the energy shield around it and irken medicine. He almost wished he could have been there to witness it go off in its fully glory.   
  


Before hatching his new _evil plan_ he better go and cleanse himself IMMEDIATELY with chalk and change into a new outfit. Zim could not use his invader uniform, so what would be appropriate to the human public to leave with? 

  
“My battle suit is out of the question...” Zim muttered as he began his way to the elevator with a few quick _clacks_ from his boots and ascended to the upper floors of his base swiftly.   
  


“I haves an idea masta,” Gir whispers somewhere to Zims right.   
  


“ **AGHUASSSS,** ” Zim choked and sputtered as he reflexively tried to use his PAK legs to lunge to the top of the elevator and hold on to get away from the danger that presented itself and slipped in the process because there was not much to hold on to in an elevator, slipping down onto his face. Gir waddled over and gently started papping the back on Zims head as he curled into a fetal position. “It’s gon be okay masta I have special clothes for you.”   
  


“Gir. Stop touching me or else I will gut every wire from inside your processors before leaving you to rot in the sad dark confines of space.” Zim hissed enraged at his robots incompetence.   
  


“Okey!” Gir said cheerfully without pausing in his ministrations.   
  


“Ugh enough,” Zim slapped the little robot away with a burnt clawed hand. “Show Zim these _special clothes_ that you have acquired for him.”   
  
“Wow masta you okay? Usually you would’ve kicked me! Kick me!” Gir giggled.   
  


“Hmm yes Zim is feeling quite generous today it seems.” Zim grumbled apathetically.  
  


Finally they landed right in the kitchen area with Gir zooming out of the elevator without a care in the world. “This way!”   
  


Zim followed out the open doors to an unmarked shelving unit that blended almsot seamlessly along the wall, and dug out a purple fabric and a black pair of pants. “Is this... The Dib-creatures clothes?”   
  


Zim definitely remembers clearly that the purple fabric in his hands belonged to the Dib, one fight his claws had caught of the back of the fabric, shearing it away easily and creating a mess, it started in a violent throw down about lighting the Amazon on fire and how the creatures there needed it to live after revealing one of his evil schemes. Dib eventually had been defeated but Zim felt no need to burn it down after that fight, he had just spent time picking some of the loose fabric from his perfect uniform. The black pants seemed to be around his size, which was odd in itself. “Gir did you steal my uniform?”

”Noooooooo... I mean maybe? I dunno masta,” Gir shrugged uncaringly. “I just thoughts it looks good with each other! Like a family! WHERES THE BABY?!” 

  
  
**“He asked me to make a pair.”** Chimed the computer, disgust evident in his voice as it overlapped the screaming Gir.  
  


“OKAY GIR.” Zim said as firmly as possible, he needed to put a stop to whatever was about to happen which was most likely a temper tantrum. “You did good for your master. Now go do whatever you do away from Zim.” He waved the robot off. 

  
Gir cried “PIGGY!!” After a total mood change and launched himself into the couch comfortably, thus he began to watch floopsy and moopsy unfortunately his favorite show at the moment.  
  


As Gir was distracted, he turned away before gently lowering his antennae flitting over the purple fabric to see if there is anything unusual about it. An odd sensation came over Zim causing his body to relax and melt, an almost warm wave of... something indescribable that made him stop thinking, something about the fabric seemed so familiar and it felt right. It was indeed filthy, why he felt that he had to sense the fabric out for anything he was not sure. Zim had no idea how long he sat there with the slightly filthy fabric in his hands, lekku flat and relaxed against the offending item.   
  


As he continued, he felt a rumbling from his chest and began to touch the thing with his face, the urge was unbearable and needed to be tended to which should have been a cause for some kind of terror but somehow Zim could not be bothered, the feeling of this sweater would do just well for Zim as he did indeed need an article of clothing to go outside on Earth, he would just have it cleaned and adjusted for his PAK immediately. He raised the fabric to the ceiling and a metal arm grabbed it and took it away without question for adjustment.   
  


Zim paused for a moment to ponder why such an article had control over his actions making him impulsive where a soldier should not, and while the feeling and compounds of the item itself were subpar. Mostly cotton and dirt mixed in with something else Zim could not put a claw on.

  
Maybe it was a curse or some compulsion to touch it, if the Dib had given it to him he would believe it after hearing for years the drivel about Earths hidden creatures. It was all he tapped about sometimes, not even giving the irken a glance when he was too invested in his studies. The sweater was deemed safe by his superior irken senses and lekku but more probing would possibly have more information to offer. 

Zim grabbed the chalk and scrubbed hard enough that it almost felt like he could get rid of these probing intrusive thoughts, as he was finished the cleansing he found the previously offending sweater behind him folded on the table and proceeded to place it on with slight hesitance after what happened earlier, Zim did not want to lose control like that again.

Zim had never seen an irken act like he had and it was extremely troubling, maybe his Tallests were right. The sweater had now seemed to not give him the same compulsion as it had before, which was a good sign. Could have been his PAK trying to adjust with whatever is happening.   
  


“Zim guesses this outfit will do,” Zim hummed as he turned around in the mirror offered by a metallic hand. “It seems to make me cleaned in with all the horrendous humans and their eugh... fashion choices.”   
  
  


Fastening his purple contacts in along with placing the insufferable itchy wig Zim was ready to continue his original plan. Pulling the hood up Zim left the front door of his base without a word to Gir. He was watching the show now so it would buy Zim about 3 days of silence.   
  


As Zim marched out the door he realized he had no idea what had come over him enough to go out in this dreary weather, in the end debating if it was all worth it. The Dib-smelly was his nemesis! As he walked he noticed the roads were still slick with water, a mix that the fog had brought as well as all the pipes that had been busted along with the concrete creating a strong disgusting odor.   
  


An echo sounded through the fog, not quite like a horn but so faint and rumbling that Zim might have mistaken it for something else, antennae swishing under the wig agitatedly trying to sense what could have caused it. 

“Ehhhhhhh... Someone should clean that up!” Zim nonchalantly said out loud to himself, thus ignoring the odd noise. Human streets are filled with them, he decided before nodding and carrying on his march to any open super market. “Comput-“

**“WHAT. WHAT IS IT YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT THIS TIME.”**   
  


”Dooooooo _oooooooo_ NOT interrupt me you unfathomably loathesome machine. I will dismantle you next chance I get.” Zim hissed quietly into the air, talons fisted together in a silent rage as his step never faltered, if not getting faster. After a moment he took the following silence from the machine as obedience. 

“Zim is looking for the closest human nutritional store,” Zim started somewhat slowly as if tasting the words to but slowly tapered off, unsure why he was even bothering with this plan. Something urged him to, something that felt filthy and vile coursed through his veins.   
  


**“Keep going straight and you’ll find one. It’s called Mezmir’s convenience, should have a big sign that even you should see.”  
  
**

”Do not talk to your master like that,” Zim snapped back. “What food items do humans require to stay active and healthy?”   
  


**“Honestly the food guides on the internet do not seem to provide much information, it’s hard to understand. Too much is bad, too little is bad. I would say stick with maybe a cake or something you can ACTUALLY make.”  
**

“Well it won’t be beneficial to the Dibs experience. I want food that is healthy.” Zim stomped in frustration, he did know enough that the Dib was on the skinnier side and something of nutritional value would be... helpful.   
  


**“Try for some products with lots of protein, large portions of vegetables and fruits is acceptable too. I’ll send a visual list, it will assist you well.”  
  
**

Zim tapped his claws against his arm while he waited the second it took to receive the list needed to make a perfect nutritional meal for the Dib-beast.   
  


“HA! I AM ZIM!” He grinned to himself before entering the conveniently unharmed store.


	8. Chapter 8

“What is this... contraption?” Zim questioned, standing in the vegetable isle with open disgust written a cross his face as he held the long object in between two of his claws as far as possible with a small hiss escaping his teeth. “It says on the list it is an eggplant, but I see no Earth EGG or PLANT.”   
  
  
“Hell yeah me too dude, eggplants are straight up nasty.” A man said to his left, apparently amused at his vegetable plight.   
  
  


“Didn’t your city just demolish itself? Get away from me disgusting human-thing.”   
  


Looking to his right to eye the guy, he gave him the dirtiest look he could muster with another hiss, “Okay, okay, jeez didn’t know the subject was so touchy.” And walked away.   
  


“Victory for Zim.” He nodded to himself before continuing on.  
  


Regardless of what just happened, he tossed the item into the cart that had been placed off to the side in the produce section so he could browse appropriately, it’s _infernal_ misting systems causing him to flinch when turned on at random periods and his spooch to race, not entirely sure if it’s design was to fend away irken invaders or if it was worth it. He had ended up putting the humans around him on edge also when he flinched with the subtle hiss of the system before it spouted water out. 

The cart had already been filled with every different type of meat he could get his hands on as one of the drones in the protein section had given a tip that if you freeze meat it can last much longer, so no need to make as many trips to the vile human infested filth-building.   
  


“I think this should be enough for that stinky human. It is so PATHETIC that they require all these nutrients, eating three times a day? UGH...” Muttered Zim with a pinched look as he placed the items of the machine. “At least I know how these _filthy_ transactions go. Gir likes to eat too much of these meats.”   
  


An uninterested store clerk stood there and watched him unload with a vaguely uninterested look. “Will that be all for today, sir?”   
  


“Yes yes, now get along with it. Your mighty Earth ruler doesn’t have all day.” Zim snapped impatiently as she bagged it.

”Okay I guess.” She muttered under her breath as she prepped the bags and filled them up. “That’ll be 154.86.”   
  


“Zim certainly has these... Earth monies.” Before taking a card out of his PAK and tapping it against the small screen before its green screen registered its acceptance.   
  


“Yes, victory for Zi-”   
  


“Sir can you move? You’re holding the whole line up.” The cashier nearly glaring. In fact, the whole line had purposely taken a moment to look at Zim with glares.

”Filthy _hooooman_ dirt bags, you think you can tell Zim what to do?” He glared back just as menacingly and some actually dared to flinch back slightly, the ones closest sensible enough to danger that they moved a few feet back into the people behind them. “You WILL regret this once I rule your spiteful planet.” Growling, Zim took the supplies and marched out of the store.   
  


* * *

“Stupid, stupid,  _stupid_ , **stupid**...” 

What were those humans thinking? Pathetic creatures, the lot of them. They only held any form of confidence in groups, smelly,  dumb , killing their own planet intentionally which was quite amusing, and now pushing Zim out of their stores? He would use their own organs to tie them up! 

“Gir! Report for duty.” Zim demanded as a screen popped up and out of his PAK. The metallic head and cyan eyes stared back, not acknowledgement made to his master. That useless...

”Gir!” 

“Yes? I’m watching the monkey show! What you want?” Gir grabbed the device and shook it randomly, the picture blurry and unfocused. Was he dancing? Who knows. 

“NO, I need you to bring the Voot to me, is that understood? Use the cloaking device. I need to transport the...” Zim trailed off, the sentence itself seeming to catch up with him and what he was about to say. Looking behind him in the alleyway he had decided would be best to call Gir in, not too far away from the store. What was he doing, really? Losing his mind it seemed. “Weapons... Yes, weapons!” 

“Okey! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Gir giggled before the screen went black, a scream cut off abruptly last second. 

“What? No Gir!” Zim grabbed the screen in front of him, shaking it like it would bring his minion back. “That insufferable little robot.” He rubbed his head, holding in a sigh. This day, everything was a mess. Zim knew something was eventually going to happen, he just didn’t know what. Everything is now changed, done. His original purpose stolen. If he couldn’t serve an empire, what else was to be done? 

What was once an alleyway dripped in light became shadowed by a large object, pulling his focus from his own thoughts. 

“I brought it! Can I have tacos?” Gir waved cheerily from the air, the protective shield pulling up to reveal him. 

“What!?” Screeched Zim, looking around frantically to see if anyone had spotted the idiotic robot. “I told you to cloak it! Any human could have spotted you!” 

“But-but I made sure nobody saw me,” Gir began to cry. “I even did the thingy you said to do, but it stopped just before I found yous.” 

“Okay! Okay. Move over!” Zim snarled and threw him over the seat, before crawling in. “I guess using my PAK legs to bring the items up would be easiest...” 

The PAK made quick work of the bags on the ground, effortlessly reaching any pulling each one up into the Voot. 

“Time to return to the base,” Zim started to play with the controls and seen that the Goot was functioning perfectly fine, so looking at it Gir probably made it most of the way over the town with the cloaking. “Unfortunately I need to make the items frozen or refrigerated, so...” 

** “Already been done and made. Two functioning systems have been added to the main floor for easy access. As well as an updated nutritional area.” **

”Zim did not give you permission!” He snarled out. 

** “Eh, whatever. You were about to ask it anyway.” **

“Ehhhhhh...” Zim started. “It would be good to listen to me or else I’ll have you dismantled!” 

**“Sure, sure...”** The voice tapered off, and Zim assumed the conversation was over.

“Now Zim must figure out how to get the Dib-beast over, so he can try my AMAZING meats.” 

“Master don say it like that...” Gir whined. 

“Shut up! I’ll talk about my meats how I want to. First we figure out how to cook them, and then get the Dib to try them.” Zim pondered, a truly difficult feat in itself. He could try and lure him in by making him think he was creating a plan to destroy the world, which seemed like it always worked.

Time to plan. 


End file.
